Review: Mercedes 2022 EQS

We're at the stage now with electric cars as we were when, back in 2015, Samsung shoved Wi-Fi into its washing machines. So enamored was the tech company with the mere capability of adding internet connectivity to an appliance you had to physically interact with, thus negating any need whatsoever for remote control, that it put it in anyway, and lauded such a questionable move as the real start of the "smart home."

In truth, it was anything but smart. Samsung didn't even make it a washer-dryer, so that when its unstable app did on occasion connect to the machine and ping you a decidedly unhelpful message that your smalls were now clean, you could do nothing at all with this information apart from get annoyed they were sitting there in the tub in a static sodden lump.

Just because you can now technically do a thing doesn't mean you should. EV design these days would do well to heed this maxim, especially when it comes to in-car tech. Which brings us directly to Mercedes' flagship fully electric luxury car, the EQS. So much technology has been thrown at this car that, frankly, I don't know where to begin, so let's get to the digital overload later and start with the specs.

Intended to take on the likes of Audi's e-tron GT, the Tesla Model S, and Porsche Taycan, the EQS is Mercedes' statement of intent for future electric cars. It has, after all, confirmed it will offer an EV in every segment by 2025, and then make its entire range fully electric by the end of the decade.

Designed more as an executive limo as opposed to a sports car, it has the biggest battery ever fitted to a production car (107.8 kWh), and this means it offers a Tesla-beating 484-mile WLTP-rated range. This range is helped by the fact that it is rear-wheel drive, not all-wheel, and a 0.20 drag coefficient (which Merc claims makes it the world's most aerodynamic car). Despite having just two powered wheels, the 5.2-meter long, 2.5-ton behemoth with 333 bhp can reach 62 mph in 6.2 seconds, and then go on to hit 130 mph. 

The luxury driving element is most apparent at low speeds, where the EQS is impressively near silent, with just the slightest hint of wind noise appearing as you exceed 80 mph. The driving experience is suitably pleasant, with bags of refinement and a serene ride. Bumps in the road surface are absorbed with ease. Seams in concrete will be seen rather than felt. Multiple levels of regenerative braking, including an “intelligent recuperation” setting that uses the EQS’s various cameras and computers to decide when to draw power back into the battery, mean the brakes barely need to be touched. This is doubly fortunate, as the brake feel here is not the best.

Interestingly, despite the weight from that huge battery, the EQS is nimble and light in steering, with little body roll thanks to the low center of gravity. But the general overall feel is that of being wafted along rather than an overly engaging drive—which is the point of this EV, in all fairness.

As for battery management, if you can find a 200 kW charger then the car will top up from 10 to 80 percent in just 32 minutes. Useful note: On long journeys it's quicker with this car to do two 80 percent charges than one to the full 100 percent. This doesn't come close to Kia's EV6, or match the Taycan or Audi e-tron GT, mind you. And then consider this $100,000 car costs $41,500 more than that Kia. At this price level, and considering the EQS is built on Merc's first bespoke EV architecture, you would rightly expect your charging capability to be better than Kia's or Hyundai's. Recharging via a 7 kW home wallbox takes just over 17 hours, but if you can take advantage of the EQS’s 22 kW on-board charger, that drops to five hours and 45 minutes.

I found I was getting about 3.8 miles per kWh on a driving route with some minor bursts of speed and a lot more motorway miles, so not too far off the 4.5 miles per kilowatt hour to get that max range of 484 miles. The charge predictions were spot on too. For an 83-mile journey the EQS stated I'd arrive with 34 percent battery remaining. I got there with 33. Another trip predicted 49 percent at the end, and it was precisely that.

Inside the EQS is where things start to get out of hand. Just look at it. There's a lot going on, isn't there? And that's just the stuff you can see, let alone hear and feel and smell. (Yes, smell.) Mercedes has loaded every bit of tech it can lay its hands on into a gun and fired it at the EQS. 

Some 350 sensors, powering all kinds of features from congested highway autopilot to continuously calculating where to stop for energy, beaver away in the vehicle. A facial recognition camera in the dash knows where you are looking, but it can't identify you and set up the car to your individual profile. For that you need to use the fingerprint sensor. A Mercedes Me app lets you precondition the car, a voice assistant answers queries and obeys simple commands (sometimes). 

You can select from a choice of powertrain soundtracks with silly names such as “Silver Waves” if you really must try and make an electric car sound like a combustion one. Why you would do this I have no idea. The entire cabin and dash is strewn with LED strips that can pulse, glow, or cycle through a bewildering array of color options. Indeed, like some sort of infantile schoolboy dream, these strips can even glow red when you bury the accelerator pedal. Good grief. 

Then you have the Hyperscreen. Yes, someone really did name it the Hyperscreen. Except it's not one screen, it's three screens joined together to appear to be one unit that's nearly 1.5 meters wide. Here the passenger can watch TV and films on their side or adjust car settings; the huge central screen is the main control hub; and then there's the driver's configurable digital binnacle. There are switches for volume control, driving mode, and hazard lights, but not much else. For the rest you use touchscreens digging through submenu after submenu, or you can use the inconsistent voice assistant (more on that later). 

I don't like unduly praising Apple, but one thing the company has generally got right (if we ignore the Mac Touch Bar) is knowing when to use physical buttons and when to use touchscreens. Many car companies still cannot find the right balance here. Nor can they, in general, design a navigable and intuitive user interface, either (this is why Volvo is wisely handing that job to Google). Mercedes engineers have clearly got very excited about the Hyperscreen, and I look forward to the day when they calm down a bit and concentrate on making it simple and clear and precise. Also, this Hyperscreen is an optional extra … an $11,000 (£8,000) optional extra. Wow. You can buy a perfectly serviceable car for that. 

Just over an hour into one long journey, the EQS asked me, via the voice assistant, if I needed “energizing.” Curious, I said yes. I wish I hadn't. The car started up its supposedly invigorating comfort program where it played jiggy music in surround sound that to the ear resembled some sort of stylized alarm ringtone. The central part of the Hyperscreen took on a ripple animation in red while the ring tone proceeded to go up and down in volume. On some of these programs fragrance gets emitted, too. After about a minute I began to wonder what on earth was going on when the seat massager kicked in. Not expecting this, such was the vigorous nature of this massage system that not only did it feel more like I was being groped, it was so disconcerting and distracting I missed my freeway exit. This sort of energizing may well be for some people, but not for me.

I also don't like the fact the EQS's voice assistant only has a female voice. Why not a male or gender neutral one? I asked Mercedes why this was the case and they had no official answer. This is not good enough in 2022. Even though the car industry is still comparatively very male, it should have moved on from the general conception that such a servile device would automatically sound like a woman.

After time the car does supposedly learn your habits, such as if you call someone at certain times, what sort of seat heating you usually like, etc. But there are some niggles here too. The seat heating automatically turns on the steering wheel heating as well. You have to dig down deep into the menus to find the toggle to turn this off, and all for the lack of a dedicated button.

There are considerable bright spots, too, of course. Aside from the exemplary ride and build quality, the interior is plush in the extreme and a very comfortable space to be in for hours at a time. The AR satnav that combines with the car cameras to overlay navigation info on your real-world situation is the best I have used yet, with also the largest and clearest HUD. The super-bright digital headlights have 1.3-m pixels—the same as a cinema projector. You can have Level 3 autonomy built-in, should you wish, but Germany will likely get this Drive Pilot system first. The top-spec Burmester stereo system is indecently loud and very, very good indeed. 

I like the fact you cannot open the hood even if you wanted to. I mean, are you really going to try and service what is effectively a giant computer on wheels?  All you get is a flap behind the front wheel that gives access to top up fluids. The trunk is genuinely cavernous. It can manage 610 liters of cargo, or 1,770 with the rear seats folded. You could, in fact, sleep in there when the seats are down.

What Mercedes has here with its first electric car to have a proper EV architecture, rather than a converted combustion platform, is an exciting look at how good its battery-powered vehicles could be once its engineers get over the initial excitement of what is possible in an EV and start concentrating on what is actually beneficial. 

For much of the time in the EQS, I almost felt as if the car was trying to show off. And what it can do is very clever, but it also makes a few missteps along the way that it needn't have done. If you're looking for a oneupmanship Uber-limo that can best all-comers on the gadgetry front and wears its tech on its sleeve, the EQS is for you. But for the money, and it's a considerable outlay, I would prefer something a little more understated, and a touch more grown up. Now, you'll have to excuse me as the EQS has just finished washing my underpants.